Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Really keen to know what women think when they drive

I've been travelling from a single route since the past 3 years and always stuck up in traffic on that route since day1. Unfortunately I don't have a alter route so guess I have to live with the one I'm travelling.

I've always been noticing some species of drivers and riders on the road who particularly have a unique behavior to driving and trust me now I can make out who's driving that car....

Generally lots of commuters and riders follow a similar pattern of driving, they follow a single lane, if they get a crack or lead on the next lane they cut, and go ahead. Second breed comes the Hospital Vans where they simply turn on the siren so that they can just sneak out of the traffic even to the fact they neither have any patient inside nor they have to rush for any emergency. The third breed is of Govt.Vehicles like Maharashtra Shasan, Govt. Of India, Under BMC Duty, Under MTNL Duty, Under BMC emergency duty etc. etc. These guys think the entire state roads are their own legally purchased routes and dare you come in their way!!! grrrrrrrrr.... you're DEAD!!!!

The fourth species belong to the tourist vehicle drivers...now, these ppl are in a way the terrorists of our roads, always ready either to kill or to die...no life whatsoever...their distinct identity is they would always have gutkha in their mouth, red stained teeth and driving cars like Indica, Tavera or Innova. There's one more strange observation I made out which I don't think is a strong point but however find it to be a interesting point but what I do notice is that the driver differs from the area he comes, i.e. if a vehicle is of MH 01,02 registration, the guy seems to be more sophisticated, more experienced and better driver than MH 03,04,05,06,08,09,11,12,13,14,41,42,43 drivers...these guys ride as if there's a rat inside their pants and will bite em if they take off their feet from the gas pedal. The fifth breed is of the Old age drivers...if someone's reading this blog, please understand that govt. has not just kept your retirement age for namesake. If you an afford a car at that age, please afford a driver as well as you can't just sit behind the wheel and drive like the way you had in your 20's.

And then I met the sixth and the most interesting breed of Drivers...had to put a sophisticated name so kept it as 'WOMEN DRIVERS' else would've been worse with the experience I got with them. This unique breed can be made out easily as they are one exclusive drivers out there...I really feel a lot to ask any one of them as what do you think when you drive???

As far as my experience is concerned, would like to share a few, the first was one I knew a beautiful girl who drives a Red Hyundai i10. Fair, tall and beautiful. She used to always look in the mirror at herself and used to set up her hair and stuffs so that she looks perfect!!! The problem arrives here that she follows the same pattern inside the car when she's DRIVING!!! During heavy rain, on the way from Town to Reclamation coming back with her in her car, she was driving at around 40kmph with the sunguard down and looking at the small mirror in it and absolutely not looking on the streets...(now imagine the amount of traffic in town and her stunts of driving) There has been very few times when I've started chanting Hanuman Chalisa on the roads and that was one of those times when I literally prayed god for my survival. She would bang her car in all the possible potholes in the road (Here, the pothole doesn't come to her, she goes to the potholes), bump in every speed-breakers and would stop almost at distance of 10-15 meters behind the car who stopped at the signal and immediately look up in the mirror for makeup. Not over-exaggerative statement but trust me I felt like kissing the ground thanking god to reach safe and say I'm alive!!!... After this experience the statement of staying away from Red colored vehicles on the road had its meaning extended. (Earlier, during motor driving school, trainers used to warn drivers from Red Color i.e. B.E.S.T. bus drivers to stay away from em. but now include Red Colored Hyundai i10 too in it :P)

The second MAJOR incident occurred to me on the Eastern Express Highway near Nahur flyover. A female driver thinking herself to be the mother of Terminator from T2 driving a Ritz at around 50kmph, wearing a dark black sunglasses at 6.30pm driving exactly in the middle of the first lane and second lane...(technically, the lane on the extreme right is the first, then second) there comes me from behind, driving just at an angle behind her car where she can see me coming through, I gave her a pass light signal to overtake from right, honked and not to forget, I'm 6 feel tall and riding a Bullet whose thump is as good as one big fat horn :P. God knows whether she saw me or not, but she switched on the left indicator signal, now any driver would understand this to be a signal to overtake BUT HELL NO!!! not with a woman driver... when I had almost reached the back door of her car, she immediately turned right...thanks to the disc brakes I went back. After crossing the flyover I overtook her and asked her in sign as Wt D F??? and she replied back saying 'I didn't see you!!!'...sorry got nothing to say after this....

Third hilarious scenario was yet again on the Gandhinagar flyover, where there's a entire traffic jam on the flyover koz of one golden color Honda City (Dolphin One). The flyover is so narrow that only 2 cars can go at a time struggling and overtaking reached behind it was me on the bike and another guy who was a COP. He started abusing the driver looking at me so I replied in marathi, "Saab, shive naka deou, baai chalavti aahe" It mean, sir, please don't abuse its a women driver ahead. He asked me how come you know? I replied, sir you can check it out. Both of us overtook the car and when we saw the driver, he was stunned and was admiring my judgement on this.... :D

This whole operation began on Facebook on Women's Day, when my friend Varun Shah posted a beautiful status, 'Drive Safe and Please let me drive, Happy Woman's Day' ROFL....and then its just going and going and going...I've been experiencing and posting comments on Facebook which would land up in debates, arguments, dislikes going to the extent that girls in my friends list have removed me as a friend...well Truth Hurts!!!! :P

Few hilarious quotes made by me were:-
1. Keep Safe distance, Women drivers, keep a mile safe distance, my car hasn't done anything wrong to you. (Thinking of posting this behind my car)

2. When a woman driver waves her hand, it only means that there's a Sale or Discount offer in a nearby shop and literally doesn't mean she wants to take a turn or let you go ahead...

3. And the saga continues...approx 4 feet tall girl who can barely see above the speedometer in a santro driving on Gandhinagar flyover....I saw her and just stopped there itself :-s started praying hope she doesnt kill any of the fellow bikers

4. if you hit a girl even if its her fault, ppl will come and beat the hell out of u, take her to the best hospital even if its just a scratch, go to the extent of even paying her bills and let you dye there as if you're a criminal... but if its the other way round where if a girl hits u where its her fault...cut copy paste the rest from above :P :P :P

5. the biggest risk on road is to follow a woman driver driving ahead of u :-s

6. It's a tornado??....it's a volcano??....NO!!!! its a lady driver!!!! :-s

7. Behind every successful accidents and Traffic Jams, there's a Woman :P B-)

8. girls do all the work from their heart tht's why when they hit you with their cars, they hit you reallly hard :D :-s ouch!!!! that freakin hurt!!!!

The last but not the least...actually this is from where it all started
9. the best women's day wishes read till now is from Varun Shah Please drive safe and let me drive.... (Happy Women's Day) LOLZZZZZ koz hum is ghamm se guzar chuke hain :P 

A women got very senti on the above statements and replied, "Yash, there are so many drunk and driving accidents and killings on the roads by male drivers, what do you have to say for that???" my reply was very simple and short, "Women don't even need the help of alcohol to do that".

One of my friend out there on Facebook too has experienced a similar pain on the streets, his post on Facebook was, "u hav no idea.. i hate female drivers..when i was a kid... riding a cycle..shit dumb girls on scooty hit me from behind.,, i went flying and fell..and all the people around went to help the "hot" girls..they ignoed me ,,as i was able to get up with wounded knees...fucking dumb girls.."

Another post on FB and that too from a women itself, "Today a woman left her car on the tracks of the train in Melbourne so unfortunately I will have to agree with you..." Now beat that :P

Although I respect women sentiments and know the fact that they are too sensitive, but whenever I've posted and girls have fought back, unfortunately none of them have got a support. So, guess apart from sentiments, this truth stands.

But honestly, I would really wish to understand what do women drivers think when they drive...all of a sudden they turn, they stop or worst come they simply bang u from behind damn hard :P

That's all for now, will definitely update more blogs and posts after new experiences from women drivers...Next agenda for me is to literally sit with a woman driver and write a biography on what do they literally think when they drive??? (Ofcourse not inside the car she's driving :P)

Women women women, do you really know that there's something called 'Rear View Mirrors' and they are supposed to ONLY SEE THE TRAFFIC BEHIND YOU and NOT ACT AS A MAKEUP MIRROR!!!
Seriously, this is quite frustrating when you look into it and the fellow driver driving behind you feels that you've observed him but HELL NO!!!! you are checking yourself out!!! and then WHAM!!! 


  1. Killer man!! Good I could inspire you to write something so hilarious!! Keep it up.. with you

  2. Thanks Varun, it all started there... :) CHEERS!!!

  3. wow man !! yash I'm amazed to see how much of ur thinking time goes into women!! looks like women drivers take away most of your mindspace!!! LOLLLLLLLL ... good for the women but ... u have my sympathies!!!!

  4. Too Good Bro... Though being a woman I should not be praising u..but still honestly This blog was just amazing.... Keep it up and when i am Mumbai next time you can sit with me and share your exp..M sure you will have better things to say ... There are always exceptionals.... :) Tke care ..

  5. i agree with every point here..
    women drivers and old age drivers are worst on the roads...
    there are more species ..newer ones ...but I am yet to firm up their types.. I call them dreamers...as they are in their own world..they dont care about anything or anybody on the road..

  6. Its on Mid Day now :P http://www.mid-day.com/relationships/2011/apr/260411-male-driver-more-polite-female-drivers.htm

  7. BREAKING NEWS:- You cannot mess with the sentiments of a woman driver...try overtaking her and you're goin below her wheels...Thanks Yatish Suvarna for those side guards, else I wldve had a duck feet post her car ramming on my feet...

  8. Part II


    Check it out :)

  9. Kyaa baat..kyaa baat kyaa baat
    sahi he..achaa he me driving nahi karti hu..varna boys mere baare me bhi yahi comment dete..